Growing up I did not dream of my wedding day like most girls. I didn’t dream of the big white gown and long veil. I was more obsessed with my education and growing into a somebody, a respectable adult who is in any form and magnitude adding value to my society. I’m still working on that and so far I haven’t fallen short per se. Some people may say I should be married or at least have a relationship that’s leading to marriage soon but I’m not in any relationship so maybe I have a lot of growing to do. Let me keep taking that situation to the lord.
About me and weddings, of course I have a grasp of some basic principles; get married for love, marry your friend, prepare for the marriage and less about the wedding day, and all that nice stuff.
What has become 75%apparent to me is that I don’t know if I want to wear a white gown if and when that day comes. It’s a cliche and clichès can be good. I love them. The white symbolizes different things to different people and it sets the bride apart and bright as she stands out, pure and elegant. I don’t know if it is about the brilliance and radiance of the color white that makes the face of the bride glow and reflect beautiful light….perhaps it’s in the physics of the color.
For Africans however, we have two or more marriage ceremonies and the white dress one often crowns the celebrations as it is worn to church. White, in the sacred space of church, has long stood for purity, a fitting and radiant symbol. The symbol is powerful, but the compulsion around the color but the compulsion around it seems heavier than the meaning it carries. Other colors are not soiled or dirty. This is why if I ever get a priest who will wed me in the color of my choosing of a rich African print , which I will make as flamboyant and glamorous as can be (African style), that is how I will dress for my wedding. I’m thinking of golden yellow in my print,…or a bright mustard, with some hints of burgundy or maroon, ….or a bright sunflower yellow, why not? We’ll see.
If I do wear white, I will do it to fulfil a tradional obligation and I won’t have any other sentiment to it because I don’t see why Africans especially continue to wear big shimmery white wedding dresses.
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