Many times comes right after saying something good. After bestowing confidence on yourself or on someone else with compliments and love or with strength, light and flowers and all that is brilliant. Then comes the BUT.
Everytime someone utters the three letters, in the mind of the recepient it’s like everything else is erased. Whatever was said before that goes away. It is as though everything that you thought yourself to be before the but shrinks or dies in the shadow of the but. Human beings don’t exist on a binary basis but rather we exist on a continuum. Beautiful and insecure are not completely mutually exclusive and neither are courage and fear. We have learnt to do the things that scare us while we are still afraid because that’s the true definition of courage.
I know I am strong, beautiful and intelligent but…
I know I can but…
I know God loves me but …
I know I deserve better but …
Let me put it to you as I am putting it to myself today that I am everything beautiful, brilliant, courageous, loving and strong. I am also weak and fearful and stressed, messed up and insecure. The latter characteristics don’t take away everything good and beautiful in me or in my life’s story. It is simply part of who I am and all of it combined is simply A BEAUTIFUL MESS.
When I stood in the presence of my weakness and saw my failures for what they were, I saw my weakness maginfied. I thought that was what my life had amounted to. How wrong I was!!!
I am now learning to be happy with everything that I am, to feed my strengths and own my frailties without shame because I am still becoming my best self. I am whole. I’m complex. I’m evolving for as long as I live…..and that’s okay.
Showers of blessings.
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