“Make mistakes but don’t regret them. Regret is the hardest thing to carry when you get older.”
This is the best advice I have heard today.
Recently I had a huge imposter syndrome moment which is largely attributable to a period in which I had a long spell of fails and losses. I had lost so often I didn’t know how to take a win anymore. The reason was that a significant amount of the things I had set out to do were failing at every turn and every time I watched a venture explode and splash in my face, a piece of me coiled. They say, one can only take so much, right ? So, obviously I began to feel the loss of zeal and the power drain took a toll. And there may have been some moments of depression coming with it.
However, I met someone who reminded me that the greatest de-service you can do to yourself is to not show up. I mean what’s the worst that could happen? You’ll ultimately win if you learn but you can only lose if you don’t learn from a mistake, a failure or a loss. The problem with not showing up is you’ll keep wondering what could have been. In all my time of living in a “cave”, wallowing in self pity and feeling lost, I had one constant nightmare everytime I closed my eyes; that one day I’ll ‘open my eyes’ and time will be gone never to be regained. But instead of wondering and wishing, it’s better to wake up, get up, get out, show up and show out. Get counted! Of course, it gets scary with time to actually step out of a mound of self doubt and self sabotage and the little box that the world tends to fix us into but I am putting my foot outside now and damn it’s better out here. The first best thing you see is promise.
The promise is not that you won’t fail. It’s that the journey will be worth it. What the promise is also is that things won’t be easy but every bit of the journey is as important as the destination so don’t curse the road. Enjoy the journey.
Let me just say; it’s better to love and be heartbroken than to not feel at all. It’s better to venture into something, fail and learn than to keep away only to one day say, “Had I tried…”. As I like to say, you can’t fail or falter on a road never trodden.
I stand shaken still yet firm, chickened out even but with courage stores and faith banks; and I stand in this auspicious moment because my eyes are set again on the horizon. When one day as a very old woman I busk in the rays of the setting sun, I’ll not tell regrets to my grandchild. I’ll tell them about memories and experiences. So help me God.
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