It’s often said that one shouldn’t speak about children and raising them unless they have had children of their own to raise. And yes, I absolutely believe that. I know nothing about raising one but I know a few things about being raised.
Today I randomly came across a conversation between TD Jakes and Steve Harvey. I heard seasoned wisdom spew out of TD Jakes’ mouth when he said,
” It’s not about what you leave to them(children); it’s about what you leave in them. If you leave more to them than in them, they’ll run through everything you leave to them. But if you leave enough in them, they’ll find their way in life. “
One little brother of mine (love you H) loves to quote our late grandfather’s random statements, African proverbs and the like whenever he feels the urge to tap into wisdom. My aunt, I have realized has a moment almost everyday of chipping into her stories lessons from and memories with her father. This village carpenter left in his children and grandchildren enough to go into the world and be. He encouraged everyone to educate themselves but more importantly to look, listen and learn. Two of the many things that his children are afraid to betray are his sense and bearing of integrity and compassion.
I remember going to school every term after a lecture from my mother mostly about being content, self awareness and focus. She didn’t make a big deal out of it or announce that the speech was coming and it lasted less than five minutes really. I mostly learnt from her and still do through observation. It’s true what they say that children do watch and learn. The virtues that you exhibit will rub off on your children today or tomorrow. The things our parents did guided us and more often than not, what they didn’t do too. Children will choose to either learn and follow your lead out of admiration or they will choose to not make your mistakes (it’s a good thing). Hopefully they can offer you some grace while choosing to not be like you. If one day by my standards and theirs I am successful, they don’t even have to follow my path; after all every person on earth should have their path and purpose and it doesn’t always look the same – not even for family.
I hope and pray for God’s and everyone’s sake that when my hypothetical children (and your real or hypothetical ones) one day are fanning their flame they’ll say; my mother lit that candle or my father lit that candle. When they exhibit whatever is right, good, kind, brave, and honorable; they’ll say someone sawed this seed. Wouldn’t it be nice if that someone is their parent? And I hope for our sakes (for those who missed a parent or two dead or deadbeat), that there is someone like that for us – or like some who are even luckier that there is a village willing to love and to nurture.
Love you mum. And this is for you grandpa (RIP).
@dovediarywriter
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